When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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