His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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