1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
