one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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