I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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