so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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