Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
