So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she peed on how many people?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize