I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
