Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
As shirtless as possible
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
