Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
