For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
