can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
