Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
