Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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