Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
