sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
