I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
