:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
