Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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