Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The Olympian is in my bed
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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