It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He felt like a one man threesome
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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