You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
