What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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