Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So apparently I’m into choking now
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