I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
