Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need moral support for this bender
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
