I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
there was a trapeze. enough said
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize