honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
