This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
