I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
