is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
