question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
