I can't breathe out the right side of my face
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
