I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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