do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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