Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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