I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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