there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
