Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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