i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
