batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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