discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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