i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize