omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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