i permit you to call me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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