I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
