i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
is wine microwaveable?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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