Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
