Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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