ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
