remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There r osticjed everywhere
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
