I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
