I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hell yes lets make some ravioli
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
