So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
