hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
