i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
