he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
