just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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