The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
