STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Found your dick twin last night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize