I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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