oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
